We're done. Our 7 year anniversary is coming up November 2, but we're not going to be making it that far. I'm not really sad about it either. I do feel bad for our children involved in this, but sometimes you just get to this point in life where you realize you have gone as far as you can. You keep pushing and pushing but all you do is hit wall after wall, almost like it's not supposed to work. We've gone through a LOT of hard times and we've had some good times too. But I feel like I can no longer grow as a person. And I can tell he doesn't have any desires to grow either. He thinks he's fine, but he's really not.

There are a lot of things I don't share on the internet, so no one knows our whole story. But we've been "working" on our relationship for years. He's a very good man, and he will definitely be a friend for life, but just because someone is good doesn't mean they're good for you. I think the miscarriage I had happened for a reason. I was supposed to reevaluate things, and I did. Our relationship is not healthy. And we were foolish in thinking a baby would make it better. I'm very glad I was given the chance to see that.

The biggest problem was that I want to leave Florida with a raging passion, and I've stuck it out for more years than I wanted to because he shares custody with his ex. He really can't leave Florida. We're both asking big things of each other - give up on something important to you for me. And I won't. And I'd never expect him to - ever. I was getting a compromise in him moving to northern Florida since he could bring his daughter down to visit her mom, but he still had apprehensions. I didn't really want to be in Florida still. And all of our plans in that fell through, as though it was not supposed to be.

I know when I actually do move (we will be sharing this house for another 3 months) I will feel nostalgic, but I really feel like I'm doing the right thing. He seems to agree.

Wow, girl. You have to do what is best for you :hugs

I think I'm doing it. I hope.

Oh Lux, I am so sorry!! I am here for you, if you ever want to talk just PM me.

I'm sorry you have to make such a hard decision :(, I sent you a pm

I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time in your life. We are all here for you Sweetie. :hugs (L)

I am so sorry honey:( but it sounds as though you made the best decision for you and your relationship. I hope the next three months aren't too akward. xoxo

Thanks girls :hugs

wow, honey I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sounds like you did what you had to do though. I'm here if you need to talk :hugs

:( :hugs

I am sorry that you are going thru this but it sounds like you have given it a lot of thought and is the best decision :hugs

We're here for you definitely...and I can tell just by your post that you have thought and evaluated this extensively, I'm sorry you are having to go through it, but I do hope you are able to get to where YOU want to be and in the end be happy with everything..

Hugs to you most definitely!!

I think you are a STRONG woman for doing what you believe to be the best decision for YOU! Good luck! :goodvibes

oh Lux I am so sorry but if its the best thing for your family and for you then you have to do what you have to. We are all here for you and I know this cant be an easy thing to go thru either.

I'm glad that you were able to step back and think about it. I think that makes you a really strong person. I wish you guys the best and who knows maybe in the end, it will fix itself. I've always been told that you never know what you had til its gone, so maybe this will make him straighten out. :dunno

Best of luck to you!!! :hugs

:hugs I am here for you heart and soul! PM me if you EVER need ANYthing!

:hugs

A little update:

He is finally ready to make the break from me. It's not like I was waiting for it, but it was starting to seem like we were going to stay in la-la-land forever. It kind of sucks 'cause he claims he was feeling this way all this time but he waited until now to say something.

The hurtful thing is the way he talks about the past like it was the worst experience of his life. I just don't look at things that way. I feel like I've learned a lot, and I know I've taught a whole lot too. Today would have marked a full 7 years together.

:hugs

:hugs y'never know, he may be acting that way to make you think he's "ok." Not that I'm giving him an excuse! How are you feeling today?

im thinking of you and you are a strong woman, you are handling this very well.

I am so sorry you are dealing with all this Darling. 7 years is along time out of your life with someone. :(
One thing I have learned from you is you are one strong mama and I know that you will make it no matter what! I am always here if you need to scream, cry or chat ok?
What are your plans now? Will you be moving out of where you are or will he? Are you leaving the area? :hugs :pray (L)

I have no clue how I missed this post. :sadeyes My gosh, what an intelligent, strong person you are though. You know what's best for you, and you seem to be very rational about everything. He's a very lucky man to have had you, and I truly feel like you're going to be okay no matter what life brings your way. You make the most of what you've got, you obviously want to strive to be better, and you deserve to be given that opportunity, not held back.

In a way, my heart hurts for you because, even though you know this is the way things should be, it's still a big part of your life that will be changing and probably some pain that goes along with that. But, on the other hand, you're going to be just fine and I KNOW that.

If you want to talk about it or just feel like talking about anything, you know I'm here. I'll even give you my number if you can put up with my devils, I mean my kids, making a shit ton of noise in the background :rofl

:hugs:hugs

thanks you guys, I really appreciate it. :hugs Really.

I feel ok right now. We've talked and we can move on amicably, most likely. But yes, it will hurt that I am leaving behind 7 years of my life. I'm thinking of taking my mom up on her offer of letting me stay in her travel trailer with the boys until summer and make a decision then what I'll do after that. I can do my courses at the college up in Ocala (still FL but way north of here).

You know, unless someone wants me to move in with them for a month while I scope out the area :lol

I'm so sorry to hear this Lux & I wish you luck & strength with everything sweety:hugs

I'm sorry sweetie. http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a242/SFerreira/Love%20Smilies/bighug.gif I'm glad you are doing what you feel is best for yourself. I'm sure everything will work out the way it's supposed to. :goodvibes

Update numero 3:
My mom (who's been staying with us until she can retire in Jan.), Richy and I had a nice long talk yesterday. We came up with an idea that we think is really going to work for us all. My mom will retire, like she has wanted to, and move to Ocala (4 hour drive north of here). She's always planned to buy a large travel trailer and put it on my uncle's property. I've been hesitant to move there because of the pay for jobs like the ones I normally get (admin. assistant jobs, clerical). But I've only got 4 more courses and I'll have my AA in secondary education. So I'll be able to make a little better money than usual, not much more, but it'll be in my field at least. I really wanted to knock this all out in one semester. And she felt that was a good idea too.

Me, being a single mom for the most part, and having relied a lot on my mom, my kids are very close to her. So I'm thinking of letting her hang on to them while I go to school from Jan to May, and I'll come up for visits on the weekends, or they'll come down. They'll be 10 and almost 8 by then. I was planning on getting out of here just for the sake of getting my kids out of here because it really is a ghetto ass disgusting place to raise your children which has progressively gotten worse in time. Even their teachers are awful this year.

I just feel so bad for keeping them here :( I've had to raise them to be street-smart so they can hold their own JUST to play outside everyday. It's yet another hard decision I'm having to make. I know my mom will be great with them and where they're going is beautiful and serene. I pray they get nice teachers up there. They seem like they want to go with her 'cause they know they will see me and can talk to me all the time. It's just something I never thought I'd have to do.

What does this have to do with my breakup with Richy, you ask? He is going to support me and give me a place to stay while I go to school. So I guess we are splitting amicably afterall. We really want to be able to save money, and since it'll be just us two suffering through it, we're going to live "poor", cut the cable off (not the internet, though, God no), only run the air/heat in extreme weather, walk to more places, eat healthier by making things at home more often than buying convenience at the grocery store. So I'm actually looking forward to this time. It feels like I'm doing what's right for this situation.

wow girl you are incredible & I wish you nothing but the best :hugs