View Full Version : Falling in love online


Shannon
01-08-2008, 11:32 AM
... This is something that's really great to consider if you haven't met your man yet, but find yourself in love and committing a lot of time to someone from a distance. This comes from Dr. Phil, so c'mon, its gotta be good advice!


Dr. Phil's guest, Nikki, has been madly in love for five years with a man she met on the Internet. The only problem — she has yet to meet him face to face. Several times they've planned to meet, and he never showed. Her parents are concerned that she's wasting her life, waiting for a man who isn't who he portrays himself to be. (See her story.) Dr. Phil offers some advice to consider if you're investing time with someone you've never met:

When you look at it from an objective standpoint, as much as you can, does it seem odd to you?

Do family members not support this relationship? Listen to what the people closest to you are saying. They have your best interests at heart and you should weigh what they have to say about it.

Have repeated attempts to meet failed? Do you find yourself making all the efforts to meet and he has yet to show up? Ask yourself if you want to invest in someone who doesn't follow through with their word.

Somebody that loves you, cares about you and is your "soul mate" would not waste five years of your life. Dr. Phil says, "Take it from a guy: If you're in love with somebody, you will swim the stream, you will climb the mountain, you will slay the dragon. You're going to get to her somehow, some way, and you're going to do it in something under five years."

Dr. Phil tells Nikki what he thinks: "This guy is married or something. And he may be 12 years old or he may be 62 years old. It could be some woman with a sick sense of humor, you don't know. There are some sick people in this world."

Dr. Phil hired a private investigator to find out more information about the man Nikki was communicating with. The results: The man he claimed to be didn't exist. The address he gave was a mobile home where an older couple resided. The number he gave was registered to a woman who was married. The place of employment he gave didn't exist.

Dr. Phil tells Nikki, "You're getting used. And it's time to shut this down and get back to your life."

The online environment is the perfect breeding ground for fantasies because it allows us to ascribe all the wonderful qualities we want in a partner to someone we've never met. Dr. Phil has said that you shouldn't get married until your partner has seen you with the flu ... so falling in love with someone you've never met is basing a relationship on superficial experiences. You really don't know much about that person other than whatever it is he/she has told you — and you have no proof to back it up. He/she could be very different in person.

Lux
01-08-2008, 03:25 PM
I met Richy online. Obviously, that turned out ok. But I had a lot of "from online" dates before that and they were..umm...not good. Not good at all. :no And this was local online dating only.

I don't think I'd date someone online and get into an LDR with them. It seems like you could really set yourself up to be hurt that way. LDRs are hard enough without the possibility that person might not be who they say they are.

Shannon
01-08-2008, 03:46 PM
When I was in high school I fell for some boy online. I really thought he was amazing and sweet and we'd be together finally, etc. Then I went out and visited him for a week, and he was NOT what I thought he was at all. It was a terrible trip and I had to call my mom and ask her to push up my flight.

There are so many things you just take for granted like - hygiene, personal habits, how they act around friends and family, their looks up close and personal, etc. You just don't really know until you actually spend time with them.

~Lil Mama~
01-08-2008, 04:55 PM
I'm guilty of the online dating thing too. I wouldn't ever date anyone that I didn't meet though.. and it takes a lot to convince me to meet a guy. Most of the dates I went on turned out ok but a few of them were dates from hell.