I went through my first miscarriage when i was 18, it was very much a surprise pregnancy, i was pretty sure i would end up a single mother but i knew i would be able to manage. i went in for my first appt. around 5 weeks, the doc tried to use the doppler to find a heartbeat, but couldnt and just said it was probably too early, which ive heard as well so i wasnt to worried. i started getting weird cravings for a while, then at 7 weeks 2 days, around 4pm, i was feeling crampy then i went pee, and saw these little tissue looking things in the toilet. i knew something was wrong, TMI but i wped and there was a tinge of blood. i called my mom and she came home to take me to the hospital. when we got there, i was sitting in a waiting room for three hours, he finally came in and just told me from my symptoms i was miscarrying. i was heart broken. it was the worst thing i had ever went through, i didnt know how to feel. all i wanted was for someone to confirm it with a US or a doppler, instead they did blood work.

i went home that night and started to bleed HEAVY, it was heart wrenching to go to the bathroom or take a shower, i was always reminded. i cried even thinking about having to pee, i was a mess.

my mom comforted me through the nights, and took care of me. around this time through the rain- mariah carey came out and i instantly grew attached to it. it was what i needed, knowing i could make it out of this alright.

i never really got over the whole thing until the due date came in september, when the day passed, i was numb, i had no memory of my baby, never heard the heartbeat, never saw a US, nothing. it was hard to even believe i was even pregnant.

that was when i found the march of dimes bereavement packet and i ordered it, at that time i decided to name my baby. i thought i was having a girl so i respectfully named her hailey noelle. (which now i wonder if it was a boy, cause i had a dream about a boy his age)

naming the baby really helped me to move on, i also bought a necklace with the birthstone and wore it for years, up til i was preg with julia and the silver broke me out.

i wish i would have had more people in my life to support me through this, it was hard and people just brushed it off, but that was MY baby. since then, ive had at least two more. they werent as hard to go through because i didnt even know i was pregnant, just sorta put two and two together when the periods came and they were wayyyy heavier than ever.

when i got preg with julia i was soo scared to lose her that i was always in the ER for every pain or ache, or if my BMs were wacky, lol! my mom understood, and never complained when i asked her to go with me. with this current pregnancy, there was only one true scare when i was around 10 weeks, i was prepared for the worst, but the guy did a US and there was my beautiful miracle.

i dont really know how to end this post, i guess i just want people to have someone to identify with, i wished i would have had that, so now i am extending my hand. ive said it before, but im here. if you need to talk. even if it sounds silly and weird, NOTHING is weird when it comes to the loss of your child.

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story, i know its hard.

Recently i told everyone about my daughter, A lot of people dont understand why i did what i did but i thought going through everything by myself was what i needed to do since i thought it was my fault. My friends have been great. My family still doesn't know, i think they have put 2 and 2 together on some things but no one has confronted me about it.

I am also here if anyone needs me. I am a great listener.

honestly, i'm not coping very well. i feel numb. i've relied alot on the boards the past few days. right now, i'm just forcing myself to keep moving.

my family doesn't understand. it's only a week old. i don't know how i feel right now. i feel like shit.

you can ignore this post... i'm just babbling

no Reen, its perfectly normal to feel that way, trust me i did. I went through the motions of living for a long time. I jumped back into being a nanny and didn't grieve. we are all here for you and we love you.

like i told you reen, everyone grieves differently, take your time. and allow yourself to feel the hurt, dont brush it aside.

When I had my miscarriage in September I was devastated. I had been wanting to get pregnant for a long time and was so excited when we started to TTC. A few months later when I got pregnant I was beyond excited and so was my husband. Finding out that I had miscarried at 6-7 weeks was one of the most horrible emotional experiences I have ever been through. The hardest part was telling my husband because he was so excited about me being pregnant and starting our family together.

I didnt know anyone who had been through it that I could talk to and I felt like my friends and family didnt really understand what I was going through so I pretty much kept everything inside because I didnt want to bother them with it. It was really tough and I was really upset over it for a long time.

I remember for the first couple months I desperately wanted to get pregnant again and was so devastated when AF would show up and I wasnt pregnant. i was wanted to make things right again and I felt like a failure.

I felt like I was being punished or something.

When I had my miscarriage in September I was devastated. I had been wanting to get pregnant for a long time and was so excited when we started to TTC. A few months later when I got pregnant I was beyond excited and so was my husband. Finding out that I had miscarried at 6-7 weeks was one of the most horrible emotional experiences I have ever been through. The hardest part was telling my husband because he was so excited about me being pregnant and starting our family together.

I didnt know anyone who had been through it that I could talk to and I felt like my friends and family didnt really understand what I was going through so I pretty much kept everything inside because I didnt want to bother them with it. It was really tough and I was really upset over it for a long time.

I remember for the first couple months I desperately wanted to get pregnant again and was so devastated when AF would show up and I wasnt pregnant. i was wanted to make things right again and I felt like a failure.

I felt like I was being punished or something.


i totally understand what your saying, My x-fiance wasn't excited when i told him i thought i might be. When my daughter passed, i thought God was punishing me and that i wouldn't be a good mother. I thought he was playing a joke on me and that it was my fault, that i had failed her as her mother because i couldn't carry her full term. I kept it all inside myself for a long time and that killed me and i still need with emotional scares now for doing it.

honestly, i'm not coping very well. i feel numb. i've relied alot on the boards the past few days. right now, i'm just forcing myself to keep moving.

my family doesn't understand. it's only a week old. i don't know how i feel right now. i feel like shit.

you can ignore this post... i'm just babbling

Hun I lost Jazmine 16 months ago and sometimes it still feels like it happened yesterday. Its the hardest and most painful thing to go through for a mother. You have so many emotions going through you right now and you dont know which way to turn and you know what that's ok. Because there is no wrong or right way to grieve your loss to this day I still am grieving Jazmine. Hang in there hun and just have hope.