Hi guys. I've been married for almost three years. Sometimes I love my husband to death and other times I can't stand him. We were both great people when we first got together. He's a great stand up guys, he's kept the same job since we've been engaged. He's a wonderful provider, but he just hasn't been the greatest dad lately. I'm not saying he's a bad father, he just used to be a much better one.
I had a child ins '05 and one last year in '07. So I know I've had mood swings here and there. But it seems like he has more mood swings now than I had when I was pregnant. So now he thinks I'm just such a bitch well fat bitch as he calls it, and that I will always be a bitch. But yet he can act the same way and that's okay.
Now when it comes to him being a father, I really have to get on his ass about things. Otherwise he'll just lay in bed, or find something better to do then help me take care of the kids. He really does care about them and loves them. But he's just getting really lazy. He'll changed 3 or 4 diapers in a whole week. He never gets them up rarely, unless I'm sleeping. He never feeds them, unless I beg him to. He'll never put cloths on them. He'll rarely hand them a snack every now and then. Now I don't mind doing all the cooking and cleaning, but I don't see why I can't get more help with the kids. It was different when I just had one kid, it didn't take that much energy out of me. But let's face it I'm a lot fatter then I was back then and don't have the energy like I used to. He just make it feel like everything is a burden. Or if he is mad at me about something I did or said he will take it out on the kids. Like if we argue and I ask him to make a bottle, or get kalei some juice, he'll sit there and laugh at me like yeah right.
I just don't know what kind of marriage we have anymore. I feel like I'd be dumb to let him go because he has his life together. But if we aren't happy then what is all this for? I'm a stay at home mom, I'd really have nowhere to go if I did leave.
He just thinks being a parent is so easy. And that he shouldn't have to take care of them because he brings home the money from working. But then I think it's funny when he says that I should get a job and I just laugh. I don't see the point on me getting a job, and then I would still have to do everything tiny little thing around the house. Because I know for a fact he wouldn't help me at all.
I just feel like I'm in a marriage alone.

I'm sorry, I dont have any advice for you...but I wanted to :hugs

I've been married to my husband since sept '06, and with him since march '00, and I'd have to say that we had the bulk of our problems when we were dating. Since being married we haven't really had any big issues arise (thank godness) so I'm not sure what advice to give you.

Wow, see I'm the complete opposite. We had a great relationship before we were engaged, now with kids and everything it's just very stressful. I tend to let a lot of things go. But since my husbands brother died, who was pretty much his best friend, he hasn't been the same. His personality just took a complete turn.

I'm sorry sweetie :hugs I wish I knew what to tell you. DH and I have had our fair share of issues. Lots of issues. but we've made it through. Maybe try talking to him and if he starts being a jerk tell him so. It might make him open his eyes to what hes doing.

I try bringing it up all the time, and he will just fight back with me on every issue. I'll be nice and say you know honey I don't really like it when you do this or when you act like this, and he'll fight me with it and be like you do this and you do that, and your just a bitch prettty much. And then he'll be nice for the next few days but can turn again just like that.
Sex is another thing. He holds having sex to be number one, the kids number two, and then me and everything else. If he doesn't get sex he's an asshole, it seems like that's the only time he's nice to me just to get it. We do have a good physical relationship, but I personally am just not a sexual person. I could go without it and it wouldn't really bother me.

Wow, see I'm the complete opposite. We had a great relationship before we were engaged, now with kids and everything it's just very stressful. I tend to let a lot of things go. But since my husbands brother died, who was pretty much his best friend, he hasn't been the same. His personality just took a complete turn.

:( Has your husband ever thought about talking to someone about his brother's death? It sounds like it has really affected him (which is natural), but now that it is starting to affect your relationship, that isn't a good thing.

It sounds like you guys could really benefit from some counseling, both individual and marital. It's completely normal for problems to arise in a marriage, esp. after you add kids to the mix, and it sounds like your husband also isn't dealing with his brother's death well. There is nothing to be ashamed of, you are very normal.

Yeah I think we could use some counseling. Honestly I think he would try as hard as he could to make himself the good guy, and that's im nothing but a moody bitch who needs a therapist and anger management. Him and his parents just treat me like im a horrible person, and that's not me at all. I'm a good person, and I have a good heart, but I only have it for certain things and certain people. There's only some much crap a person can be willing to take.