if someone says something offensive, do you confront them about it?




i often do. for example, i cannot deal w/ people using "retarded", "retard" and the like to mean stupid.

i TELL them when they do it that it is offensive and often times people do acknolwedge that that is innapropriate. i made my 8th grade math teacher cry once when i told him he offended me and he called my home to apologise that evening.

i think it is important to tell people when they have crossed the line but I know others think I should let it go.

what do you think?
what do you do?
can you think of a situation you have been put in like this?

I will tell people if they have offended me for sure although I can't think of any specific situation

You can tell them if you want to but if they dont find it offensive then it doesnt matter what you say. People say rude things all the time but unless they are your friends or people you are around all the time it wont do much good. You may not like it but you will always find people that say offensive things sometimes you just have to let it go. I personally dont like that work either and my FIL has used it but all I do is try not to be around him as much as I can. It wont matter what I say unless they realize it then it wont matter. They might not do it around you but that doesnt mean they have stopped doing it around other people. It is annoying though. :P

Unless it is really degrading (ie. saying the N or C words) I don't usually say anything to people. I do get on any african-americans I know who use the N word around me, I know some of them think it's socially acceptable to say that word because they are the skin color they are...but it not only makes me feel uncomfortable being around people using that word, but I think it is just as bad as a girl calling herself or another girl the C word. It's ignorance and degrading...expand you vocabularly a little people!

I generally won't say anything. I'll either leave the situation so I don't have to hear it, and/or give them cold shoulder in the future. I have no interest in that sort of thing.

As for "retarded", I don't think people saying with the specific intent of insulting those with disabilities. Up here at least its become one of those words that simply has a secondary meaning, at least that seems to be the case when I've heard it used. I also haven't heard it used as an insult to a specific person since like 4th grade. Instead, it's more like someone will sigh and be like "I'm so retarded.." after making the same mistake over and over - and that is technically correct term.
Retarded: adj. "Having only a limited ability to learn and understand"

If someone took me to task for saying that, I would be offended in turn.

I say something. That's just me. If I feel there is an issue I voice it, with tact.

Unless it is really degrading (ie. saying the N or C words) I don't usually say anything to people.

I agree. People don't like to be corrected especially for things they don't see as offensive or degrading. if the word makes ME uncomfortable, i will politely ask them not to use it in MY presence. Most people will listen when you don't tell them they are rude or wrong for using words. Most of my interaction with people is in the workplace and people are more careful with their word usage there anyway, but you don't tell your boss or a client he's rude if he uses a word like retarded. If you expect to advance anywhere.

I usually don't, but I guess that's because I'm not easily offended. I don't particularly like when people say "GD" but I know that it slips out of my mouth occasionally too, so why should I tell other people to stop when I slip up too? If the N word is said I usually just simply say "i don't like that word" or something like that. Now, if it was something personal that was said to hurt me (on purpose or for a joke) I ususally will sarcastically get mad/hurt and say something. If that makes sense.

Now, if it was something personal that was said to hurt me (on purpose or for a joke) I ususally will sarcastically get mad/hurt and say something. If that makes sense.

yup...I do the same thing. If you can dish it you better be able to take it when it comes to hit back in your face. My little sister had to learn that the hard way one time - she insulted me in a teasing fashion so I just laid it right back at her.

In real life, if its someone I know and they care what I think, then yes. Most of the time, on the www, no.

back-from-the-dead post!

It takes a lot to offend me...like it'd have to be a personal attack of some sort probably. But if someone says something out of line I usually say something if I have to be around them for more than a few minutes. I feel like you have the right to stand up for the way you think people should talk to you or the things they say around you. If I know that I'll probably never see them again or if they're belligerent assholes, I usually will bite my tongue.

I'm not super easily offended either, but I'll give you an example of what I do.

I was pregnant with my second baby by my first baby's first birthday. In turn, I was pregnant with my third baby by my second baby's first birthday. So, I got alot of comments, and the one that bothered me the most was "Don't you know what causes that by now?" So I finally started answering by saying "Yes, I do and it's too much fun to stop!" Usually they shut up!

I will usually just blow it off unless it happens continuously. I think most of the time people dont realize what they are saying is offensive so I tend to be pretty patient. If it someone I am not good friends with I would probably just leave the conversation. If it were a friend of family then I would probably just ask them not to say that or talk about the subject, etc because it bothers me.

i am not very confrontational so i normally would just stay away from the person if they are someone I am not close to and they continually offended me.

Unless they direct the offensive term at me or someone I care about, I chalk it up to their ignorance and let it go unless it happens a lot. Then I'll confront them and explain why they sound like a flaming idiot.

Lux, were you bored or something :lol


I dont even remember why I made this post.

But anyway, its so not an issue lately, now that I have known my friends here for a couple of years (for the most part) they don't say "retard or retarded" around me.

Shannon, that is true what retarded means and that it has become common slang. Does not make it right to use. and Since people are classified with mental retardation, using their condition as a slang term I find to be horribly offensive.

I'm not easily offended but I am confrontational.

IF its directed at my kids or my husband, my family or my CLOSE friends, then I'll say something. IF not I dont pay much attention.

However, the use of the N word just pisses me off and I want to punch people for using it....and I'm white. It pisses me off reguardless of the persons color.

Lux, were you bored or something :lol


In a word, yes. :yes

I usually dont say anything. Either Im to upset at the moment to say anything or its just not worth it.

it depends on what was said, & why. but typically, if you're face to face with me, you'll know why i'm upset with you simply because of the look on my face.