View Full Version : Parent trap: Walking the line between kids, work


Brandi
05-05-2008, 02:39 PM
Parent trap: Walking the line between kids, work
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/03/28/parenting.balance/index.html#cnnSTCText

* Story Highlights
* Working at home may create as many problems for parents as it solves
* Workday is chopped up into tiny slivers, says work-at-home mom of two
* Issues include: Unclear work-personal boundaries, sacrificing advancement

By Jeannie Ralston

(Parenting.com) -- I work full-time at home. I have a babysitter for Gus, 7, and Jeb, 5, so that, in theory, I have eight hours a day to write freelance articles and run our family's lavender farm.

But that much daily schedule in one day is a pipe dream. In just the past two hours here's what I've done instead: took Jeb to the dentist, picked up Gus from school, gone charging out of my office upon hearing a window-rattling scream from Jeb (his sweet brother had hit him with a yardstick), helped Gus fix the chain on his bike, and calmed Jeb (who's angry that we took the training wheels off his bike, and who then had to be shooed out of the office when he came to tell me that he doesn't want to be anything when he grows up because of what we did to his bike).

Their babysitter is like their second mother, but my kids want only me for certain things, and they know where to find me (or how hard to yell to bring me out of the office).

My workday is chopped up into tiny slivers, into which I try to squeeze maximum productivity, which leaves my brain overheated from sprinting and stopping, sprinting and stopping.

But this is the life I've chosen as a work-at-home mom, a member of a rapidly expanding subculture in the workforce.

Friends and neighbors tell me I have the best of both worlds: I've found the middle ground in the ferocious pull between working and staying at home.

But I know better. I know that every mom who works at home makes trade-offs.

For all its many advantages -- from having a flexible schedule to feeling like a more involved parent -- there are difficulties that often go unaddressed, from not being able to draw boundaries between the two spheres of life, to sacrificing earning power and career advancement.

Working from home is no magic bullet. If you aren't fully prepared for the tightrope act, it may create as many problems as it solves.

"If you're switching back and forth between two roles that are important to you, it may become difficult to manage both," says Stephan Desrochers, Ph.D., assistant psychology professor at the University of Maine in Farmington. "You may get confused over where to focus your attention at any given moment."

Right now, for instance, I'm wondering whether I should be writing this or going to the garage to put the training wheels back on my son's bike.

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Copyright 2008 The Parenting Group. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.

Jeannie Ralston, a contributing editor to Parenting, works -- or tries to work -- from her home in Texas.

Brandi
05-05-2008, 02:44 PM
I can SO relate to this. It is SO Hard trying to get everything done that I need to do. Having both websites has turned into a full time thing for me (or at least VERY part time) and it is so incredibly hard trying to get anything done unless it's after 8pm when they are in bed.

All day, it is crisis after crisis, screaming, fit throwing, meal making, mess cleaning, trying to somehow get to housework in between the basic demands, bathing, mediating, meal planning and the list goes on.

My husband is a great guy - really he is - but he is not very good at helping me out when it comes to letting me have my time to do my work. I keep the kids all day long, at least 10+ hours a day while he's at his work doing his job. And it's sometimes frustrating that he can't take over for an hour or two, even on the weekends, so I can just sit down and not have to worry about answering the "mommy mommy mommy" or having to get up every 3 or 4 minutes to attend to someone who's crying.

I just asked him this past weekend to meet me half way here and he's agreed to give me more time for me to get the things done that need to be done. I'm seriously at my breaking point though. I can only do so much. :nutts