View Full Version : Child Support


Hands Full
06-17-2008, 03:04 PM
I didn't know where to put this but I figured here was a good spot since Child Support is an aftermath of parting ways.

My daughter was born July 1, 2005. Her father met her when she was two months old. He said he felt no connection with her because she was too light skinned and didn't look like him...(hmmm I'm light skinned and she looks like me) I filed for Child Support in August of 2005 in Virginia. Well two years later there was no resolution. He moved to the Virgin Islands and Virginia cancelled my claim because The Virgin Islands were out of their jurisdiction. Then he moved back to the states and joined the Navy (again). In January of 2008 (shortly after his return) I filed for Child Support here in San Diego. They filed a recommended order to begin February 1, 2008 for $519. However, he never paid a dime (big surprise). Well yesterday (June 16, 2008) I went to court. And to my big surprise he was there. So here I am in a room with my ex and my current boyfriend. My ex who didn't even know when his daughter was born and my current boyfriend whom my daughter calls daddy. After reviewing his income the court decided that he was to pay $901! But it was too early to celebrate.

He told the judge that he was married but seperated (huh! I never knew that, he told me he was divorced)
He told the judge that he has three kids with his wife (huh! I thought he only had one kid)
And he claims all of his BAH goes to her (huh! I was in the military and I know that unless it is court ordered you do not have to hand over your BAH to anyone)
So he fought for his 3 hardships.........and got them.

So I go home with an order of $515 for child support. I should be happy because it's better than nothing but I pay $500 a month in daycare alone.

And then after almost 3 years he sends me a text asking me if he could see his daughter :puzz. I said no. Sorry but my daughter is old enough to know who her daddy is and a stranger calling himself her daddy is not going to cut it for her. I think that at this point in our lives if you want visitation, get it court ordered because my daughter isn't going anywhere with you. Go and visit with your three other kids and leave my baby alone. You didn't want her then so why now? Thanks for the daycare money pal, now I'll be able to use my own money to fill up the house with groceries without reservations or maybe even take Alaina to the zoo or to Disneyland or something that we have never been able to do because for three years I have endured every single expense that comes with raising a child. Thanks a lot!!!!! :sigh

If you got this far............Thanks for reading :carryon

Amnicole2008
06-17-2008, 03:08 PM
GIRL WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT CHILD SUPPORT.. PM ME SOMETIME. DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU!! LONG STORY FOR YOU:)

Shannon
06-17-2008, 03:34 PM
Wow. That's some serious nerve. I can't believe he lied to you about so much in the first place. I'm glad you were able to get something though. Having daycare covered will help, I'm sure, and once she's old enough for school that can go towards the normal stuff. I'm crossing my fingers that he actually pays!!

lady blu
06-17-2008, 03:46 PM
:vent:venti'm so pissed off for you right now!! and 3 kids????? when did that happen? i hate him sooo much for lying to you,:vent:vent:vent:voodoo:voodoo

~Lil Mama~
06-17-2008, 03:55 PM
I feel for ya girl, trust me I do. I'm basically in the same position as you are.

angela77
07-22-2008, 04:01 PM
Oh wow, I feel for you to, honey. I've been fighting that battle for almost five years...My ex husband has moved at least 8 times in that period to avoid wage garnishment and now I don't even know where he lives. I see it like this...Those men won't have a real relationship with the children, and when those same men grow old and nobody wants to take care of them, that's when they'll try to muscle back into the kids' lives and by then...too late. Too bad. It will come back on him, no doubt. Keep your chin up- I promise it does get better with time.

Ellen
07-22-2008, 04:40 PM
The only thing you can do when you are not receiving the child support you are due is to keep on the state to do their job. It's sad when there's an evasion of responsibility. I hope he keeps up with it, now that you've been to court.

dragonflys
07-22-2008, 04:41 PM
OH MAN!! I dont blame you for being pissed. It surprizes me how many dead beat days there are really out there. I think theres alot of us are the the same boat!!! Its really sad!!

Ellen
07-22-2008, 04:43 PM
OH MAN!! I dont blame you for being pissed. It surprizes me how many dead beat days there are really out there. I think theres alot of us are the the same boat!!! Its really sad!!

** dead beat parents **

MoMo
07-22-2008, 05:31 PM
dang, that really pisses me off. What's even more sad is that he's using his "wife" and other 3 kids as an excuse not to help his fourth kid. What an irresponsible loser!! My DH is dealing with an equal but opposite situation. He has a daughter (now 9 years old) who he has been trying to connect with since he found out she existed (when she was 3). He fought for partial custody, but since he was going back into the army, he didn't get it. Since then, his deadbeat ex-girlfriend has gone through guy after guy and moved all over the country. DH has paid investigators to try to find her. He would be more than happy to support her. Now days all he wants is the ability to write letters, get updated pictures, and send birthday/holiday gifts. It's so frustrating!

Mareleigh
07-22-2008, 05:37 PM
sucks that you lost out on more money, however thank god day care is covered!!! %00 more a month would be a huge help here. The good thing about the military is that they take it out of your check before he even sees it! So thank god for that.

Heidi
07-22-2008, 08:37 PM
I feel for you, honestly. I never once have received any help from my daughter's father. He is now deceased and she can't get any SS benefits from him because there are none.
As a parent who is supposed to be paying child support. I can't "pay" at the moment as I am on disability. I have talked to the support case worker and explained my situation and am trying to get a reduction. Once the whole money thing is straightened out my boy will get the majority of what I get. I do talk to my son 3-4 times a week. There is more than to the definition of being a dead beat parent than just the money thing.... Hope it all works out for you....

MissPenny
07-23-2008, 07:01 AM
That does suck that you won't be seeing that much money! I'm sorry though. Your actually getting alot more than what my dh is having to pay to his ex wife.
His ex wife is getting 300 dollars a month for my stepson. Luckily we talk to him and do get to see him when it suits her.
Now I don't agree with that there are alot of dead beat dads out there. My dh has to pay for child support for his son. He has always paid it with him and I being married. He's not a dead beat dad at all. I agree that there are alot of dead beat parents out there.

goldilockz
07-24-2008, 05:35 PM
I feel for you, honestly. I never once have received any help from my daughter's father. He is now deceased and she can't get any SS benefits from him because there are none.
As a parent who is supposed to be paying child support. I can't "pay" at the moment as I am on disability. I have talked to the support case worker and explained my situation and am trying to get a reduction. Once the whole money thing is straightened out my boy will get the majority of what I get. I do talk to my son 3-4 times a week. There is more than to the definition of being a dead beat parent than just the money thing.... Hope it all works out for you....


Fo sho!

Good luck with everying, OP!! I hope it works out for you :yes

Hands Full
08-13-2008, 02:59 PM
This is it, our final court day. I have going to go find out if it is true about the wife and kids. And hopefully settle this case once and for all!!!! Wish me luck!!!! I will let you guys know what happens when I come back.

Christina
08-13-2008, 03:29 PM
I'm so sorry that he got away with his lies, but at least the judge was able to squeeze a number out of him each month to give you.

I've seen the same thing happen with my sister over my niece who is going to be 7 next month. Her biological father up and bailed when she was 6 months old and at first would send in regular child support but then he started working under the table jobs so it looked like he had no income coming in. His measley $200 a month child support got diminished to a whopping $31! So ridiuclous.

And every year he'll get a hair up his ass to try and fight my sister in court for custody, the judge actually laughed at him the last time he did that since it was so assinying since he has not been in her life but maybe 6 1/2 months total in almost 7 years. Then he was going to sign over his parental rights (my sister's husband wants to adopt her), so he doesn't have to pay child support, but then he changed his mind yet again.

it's really screwed up my niece since for awhile she thought her "daddy" didn't want her. But now she knows that even though he is her biological father, she prefers her step father as her daddy over him. Still it's so sad :(